Showing posts from December, 2005

April Devere: Think Outside The Box

(Note: This is a preview version. I'm currently writing a series of longer stories about the daughter of April Devere, and sidetracked into a couple of short stories about April herself, of which this is the first. It will eventually move onto a more permanent website, but for now, those very few reading this get a sneaky first read. Some of the speech may look a bit odd - for translated speech I'm using the typographical conventions of the language concerned, which in this case is Polish. Speech in Polish is bracketed by double-quotes like English, but the opening quotes are at the baseline of the text. Hopefully this should be fairly obvious in the text).

I checked the corridor before I made my break for it - at least, that's what I told everyone afterwards. The simple truth of the matter is that after the fact it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference whether I checked it or not. I braced myself against the door and launched out into the corridor, and half a se…

Talk Is Cheap: Average Statistical Band


Many years ago, the combined lights of maths and physics were brought to bear on music, with the result that we can now draw diagrams of the vibrations in a string and relate these diagrams to the sounds that we hear while listening to heavy metal guitar solos. Since then, these sciences have been very light in their involvement. Physics has at least proved a rich source of lyrics for They Might Be Giants, but what of maths? Has the science of numbers shot its load, musically speaking? Or does it still have something to offer? Is it time, indeed, for a comeback for this venerable institution, complete with tour shirts and sold-out stadiums?

Since the old days, sad to say, one thing has become more important in music than anything else: it is, of course, no longer about experimentation, about soundscapes and art and expression. No. These days, it's the money. A band doesn't need to know their arias from their allegros to be successful - they just have to be able to f…

Talk Is Cheap: On Religion

If you are religious one of the important things today, so it seems, is living your religion in your everyday life. Jewish folks want kosher meals in the staff canteen. Muslims want religious law in the bedroom. Christians want god-centered relationships, god-centered teaching and god-centered milk chocolates.

I'd like to tell you about how I live my day religiously. At eight twenty six this morning, I honoured the spirit Stay-In-Bed-Five-More-Minutes. The ceremony is simple - the supplicant looks at his mobile phone, which he has carefully placed on the floor at the head end of his duvet. Reassured that there is still some more time before eight thirty, he closes his eyes and lowers his head to the pillow again. It is a slightly moving ceremony. The less moving it is, the better.

Let me explain - I am an Inanimist. I believe that the world around us is inhabited by many spirits: the spirits of sessility, the ghosts of forsaken opportunities, the sylphs of idle moments. A thousand b…