Art Pact 207 - What's his name?

What's the name of that guy who works on the hotdog stand at the Odeon? You know the one, the one who was always trying to hit on Alyss every time we tried to get those... uh, what were those sweets we were mad on? It wasn't maltesers, something like that? Began with an M. Oh year, minstrels. God, I hate the orange ones. I know, Alyss used to think that I was weird, but it all worked out. I like the coffee ones. Hmm, I just thought - isn't that racist? I mean, minstrels. Isn't that..? Oh, I don't know.

Anyway, you know the one I mean, don't you? About so tall. You know, always hitting on Alyss, like every time we were there. So annoying, I mean - you know what it's like, they always think they've got a chance with Alyss just because of her - you know - and they never realise that she's just so totally out of their league that a little bit of soap isn't going to get them anywhere. He was the worst of the bunch. I kept telling her she could wait, but no, she was like "if I tried to avoid every idiot who was hitting on me I'd have to just stay home with my head under the blankets", which I suppose-

But no, we've talked about that enough. I was trying to tell you about the guy who works on the hotdog stand. You know. You do know! About this tall, kind of - I dunno, white but sort of darkish?  What kind of a question is that? Black hair, short, sort of emo but not quite, wrist-bands. Ooh! I know! Nose hair!

Yes, that's the one! God, so terrible. You'd think he'd do something about it, I mean, imagine how embarrassed he'd be if he knew you could only remember him because of that. What a loser. Anyway - yes, he was always hitting on Alyss. Of course Alyss, why would you think it was you? Oh, really? I guess someone like that will be what he's like all the time. You should tell Alyss, maybe it'll make her feel a little better. You know what she's been like after the Ben thing. No. No. No. Look, are you going to let me tell this or not? Right.

Ok, so you know the guy I'm talking about. You remember what he looks like and all that, yes? You'd know him if you walked past him on the street. Well, that's what happened to me the other day - I walked past him, and I knew it was him, like I was one hundred percent convinced of the fact. I looked up just as he went past - so he wouldn't see that I was looking at him, and I wouldn't have to say hello or something. Yeah, exactly. Yes. Yes.

Anyway, when I looked up, it wasn't him. I mean, I'd been so sure that it was him it was really confusing. It was this old guy, sort of pale, long straggly hair, sort of blond I guess but mostly grey. Hunched shoulders, really minging face. It was mad - I was certain, like so certain that it had been the hotdog guy, and now there was just this old geezer there.

No, it wasn't just-

I didn't-

Would you please shut up and let me finish? Fine, OK. OK! God. OK, so, I saw this guy and I definitely wasn't just having a blonde moment. Even when I was looking at the old guy I was still convinced that I should have been looking at the hotdog guy. It was doing my head in. But I couldn't look away. I mean, literally, I had to follow him. He didn't know that I was there - I don't think, anyway - but I sat down on the bench by the- yeah, that's the one. So I sat down there, and I just waited for like twenty seconds or something? In case anyone thought I was mental I made out like I was hunting for something in my bags, then I got up and went the other way, following the old man through the crowd. He went down the chav end of the town, then he turned down Conner road. There weren't so many people there, so I had to go a bit slower. I was worried, you know, that he'd see me? But I shouldn't have worried, because he never looked around once. All of this time I was still convinced that I should have been seeing hotdog guy, right? It was like, if I closed my eyes, when I opened them again I expected to see hotdog guy and I was completely surprised when that didn't happen. It was so weird. So weird. But I kept following him, anyway.

No, I didn't think about that. I mean, there were still people around, right? But I just didn't think about it. Anyway, I'm still here aren't I? So. He goes down Conner road, and then about halfway down you know there's that alley that goes behind the shops? Where they used to get their deliveries, I think, except that it's too small for lorries now because when they built the McDonalds the back of it was too close to the wall on the other side. Yeah, Josie's brother worked on it, he said they knew. So now it's just full of those big wheelie bins. That was where he went, and-

No, I didn't go down there, what do you think I am, stupid? I don't want to end up on Crimewatch. They'd show that picture of me from the end of school. God. My mum loves that picture. Cat lady hair, yeah, thanks, I love you too.

So the guy goes behind the first bin, but not all the way behind. And I stood at the end of the alley. He looked round so I ducked out of the way and I don't think he saw me. That's when he started to change.