Art Pact 104 - Machine of Birth
"It's a new app," Mei told me, holding out her phone. "Jordan got it for me. He's on thin ice."
I looked at the screen. It didn't look particularly impressive. It was a single word, rendered beautifully in a serif font - I recognised that from graphic design class, so that'll show Chrissy the next time she gives my dad some blah blah about how I can't be taught. What does she know?
SAMBUCA
"Is this something to do with AA?" I asked suspiciously. Mei's parents are constantly going on and on at her about drinking at parties, they're strict as. She scrunched up her lips and frowned at me, which she doesn't realise makes her look like her mother. I didn't say it though. I wanted her to stay together with Jordan, and if she was already grumpy later on when she saw him...
"It's a new app," she said slowly. "Apps for old lushes are one hundred percent yesterday."
"What does it do?"
"It tells you why you were born," she said.
"Duh, we did sex ed last year," I told her. "If you don't know where babies come from, maybe you should be keeping your legs shut when Jordan picks you up."
She rolled her eyes, and swept the app closed with a thumb.
"If you're going to be facetious.." she said.
"No no, I'm sorry. Go on, tell me. What does it do?" I realised I'd crossed the line, and it was danger zone with Jordan if I didn't roll it back a bit. She gave me a slow stare, then reluctantly started the app up again. Its start-up screen glowed for a few seconds: MACHINE OF BIRTH, in a seventies-style fat font, some derivative of Arnold Bocklin I guessed (damn, I was on a streak!) Then the screen blacked out again, and went back to that single word.
"So, sambuca."
"It's the reason," Mei told me.
"The reason?"
"The reason why I was born. Well, conceived I suppose. You have to get your folks' permission, because it needs access to their lifestreams. You give it your date of birth, then it goes back through the lifestreams and works out everything that led up to... you know..."
"Your dad showing your mum his credentials," I finished for her. We both shuddered.
"Thank god it doesn't go into details," she said.
"So then what?"
"So then it analyses the reasons and breaks them down into a one or two word phrase. It's not perfect, but..."
"But you believe it." I read the screen again. I'd met Mei's parents (well, I'd met her mum and I'd seen her dad picking her up from school and dropping her off at the mall). I could totally believe it. They were all over her about the evils of alcohol - properly freaking out, so that you knew they must have been booze-hounds in the old days. Her mum looked like she was a hard drinker, certainly. I could imagine her as a student, knocking back the voddie like a Russian fish.
"All that crap she spouts about staying sober, and now this?" she grimaced. "But that's just something I have to hold onto."
"You say you've got to get their permission?" I asked. "Sounds lame."
"Don't be such a baby. I signed off the access myself."
I suppose I could have got mum's access key - she doesn't keep too tight a grip on it when she's going out. But Dad's key? No, Chrissy's such a suspicious bitch she keeps everything under lock, her stuff and dad's too. I suppose it's so she can grab it all if dad kicks off.
"So that's all that it can do, though? It can't do me, or Jordan or whoever, unless we can get our folks' access keys?"
"Even worse," she said, "they totally charge for it, so it's locked to the original lifestreams." She grinned slyly. "But don't you see?"
"See what-oh!" I got it. It was useless for me, because Danny was Chrissy's boy with her first husband, and the baby was Chrissy and dad's. But Mei's snotty elder sister and her pain-in-the-tits younger brother? Knowing their secrets could be gold, if the secrets were embarrassing. "Are they good?" I asked.
Mei nodded, leaning towards me.
"The best..." she whispered. She swept the app screen back to the main menu, opened up a date selector. "I had to ask Yumi what her birthday was - I said I'd seen the best present for her. Can't believe she fell for it!"
She tapped in the numbers, then a few seconds later held up the screen for me to see.
TV DINNER
"Oh shit!" I said, and burst into laughter. "What the hell?"
"That's nothing. Check out Ken's!" She fiddled with the phone again.
ZOO MONKEYS
"Oh. My. God." I said, and we both burst out laughing. "That completely makes sense! You realise we can destroy him with that, right?"
"I know. Shame it wasn't the other way round, but this is pretty good." I nodded, although I didn't really agree. Mei thinks her biggest problem is Yumi, and fair enough she is kind of stuck-up, but at least she keeps to herself. Ken's a pure-bred douche, and a miniature pervert in the making, always trying to find some excuse to barge in on us when I'm over at Mei's place. "We spread this around school and I guarantee inside the week there won't be a single person who isn't reminding Ken of it every time they see him. That'll serve the little creep right."
"Let's get right to it," I suggested. "You're meeting Jordan at eight, right?"
"If he doesn't piss me off," she said grimly.
It would hold, though, I thought. She'd be so pleased with her plan to make her brother's name mud that she wouldn't have enough venom left in her to ditch Jordan. And as long as she was with Jordan, there was no chance of her draping herself all over Rich and getting her claws in him before I'd had a chance to. She'd break up with Jordan eventually, but by that time I'd have worked something out to take care of her permanently.
Something to do with sambuca, I thought to myself, smiling at her pleasantly.
I looked at the screen. It didn't look particularly impressive. It was a single word, rendered beautifully in a serif font - I recognised that from graphic design class, so that'll show Chrissy the next time she gives my dad some blah blah about how I can't be taught. What does she know?
SAMBUCA
"Is this something to do with AA?" I asked suspiciously. Mei's parents are constantly going on and on at her about drinking at parties, they're strict as. She scrunched up her lips and frowned at me, which she doesn't realise makes her look like her mother. I didn't say it though. I wanted her to stay together with Jordan, and if she was already grumpy later on when she saw him...
"It's a new app," she said slowly. "Apps for old lushes are one hundred percent yesterday."
"What does it do?"
"It tells you why you were born," she said.
"Duh, we did sex ed last year," I told her. "If you don't know where babies come from, maybe you should be keeping your legs shut when Jordan picks you up."
She rolled her eyes, and swept the app closed with a thumb.
"If you're going to be facetious.." she said.
"No no, I'm sorry. Go on, tell me. What does it do?" I realised I'd crossed the line, and it was danger zone with Jordan if I didn't roll it back a bit. She gave me a slow stare, then reluctantly started the app up again. Its start-up screen glowed for a few seconds: MACHINE OF BIRTH, in a seventies-style fat font, some derivative of Arnold Bocklin I guessed (damn, I was on a streak!) Then the screen blacked out again, and went back to that single word.
"So, sambuca."
"It's the reason," Mei told me.
"The reason?"
"The reason why I was born. Well, conceived I suppose. You have to get your folks' permission, because it needs access to their lifestreams. You give it your date of birth, then it goes back through the lifestreams and works out everything that led up to... you know..."
"Your dad showing your mum his credentials," I finished for her. We both shuddered.
"Thank god it doesn't go into details," she said.
"So then what?"
"So then it analyses the reasons and breaks them down into a one or two word phrase. It's not perfect, but..."
"But you believe it." I read the screen again. I'd met Mei's parents (well, I'd met her mum and I'd seen her dad picking her up from school and dropping her off at the mall). I could totally believe it. They were all over her about the evils of alcohol - properly freaking out, so that you knew they must have been booze-hounds in the old days. Her mum looked like she was a hard drinker, certainly. I could imagine her as a student, knocking back the voddie like a Russian fish.
"All that crap she spouts about staying sober, and now this?" she grimaced. "But that's just something I have to hold onto."
"You say you've got to get their permission?" I asked. "Sounds lame."
"Don't be such a baby. I signed off the access myself."
I suppose I could have got mum's access key - she doesn't keep too tight a grip on it when she's going out. But Dad's key? No, Chrissy's such a suspicious bitch she keeps everything under lock, her stuff and dad's too. I suppose it's so she can grab it all if dad kicks off.
"So that's all that it can do, though? It can't do me, or Jordan or whoever, unless we can get our folks' access keys?"
"Even worse," she said, "they totally charge for it, so it's locked to the original lifestreams." She grinned slyly. "But don't you see?"
"See what-oh!" I got it. It was useless for me, because Danny was Chrissy's boy with her first husband, and the baby was Chrissy and dad's. But Mei's snotty elder sister and her pain-in-the-tits younger brother? Knowing their secrets could be gold, if the secrets were embarrassing. "Are they good?" I asked.
Mei nodded, leaning towards me.
"The best..." she whispered. She swept the app screen back to the main menu, opened up a date selector. "I had to ask Yumi what her birthday was - I said I'd seen the best present for her. Can't believe she fell for it!"
She tapped in the numbers, then a few seconds later held up the screen for me to see.
TV DINNER
"Oh shit!" I said, and burst into laughter. "What the hell?"
"That's nothing. Check out Ken's!" She fiddled with the phone again.
ZOO MONKEYS
"Oh. My. God." I said, and we both burst out laughing. "That completely makes sense! You realise we can destroy him with that, right?"
"I know. Shame it wasn't the other way round, but this is pretty good." I nodded, although I didn't really agree. Mei thinks her biggest problem is Yumi, and fair enough she is kind of stuck-up, but at least she keeps to herself. Ken's a pure-bred douche, and a miniature pervert in the making, always trying to find some excuse to barge in on us when I'm over at Mei's place. "We spread this around school and I guarantee inside the week there won't be a single person who isn't reminding Ken of it every time they see him. That'll serve the little creep right."
"Let's get right to it," I suggested. "You're meeting Jordan at eight, right?"
"If he doesn't piss me off," she said grimly.
It would hold, though, I thought. She'd be so pleased with her plan to make her brother's name mud that she wouldn't have enough venom left in her to ditch Jordan. And as long as she was with Jordan, there was no chance of her draping herself all over Rich and getting her claws in him before I'd had a chance to. She'd break up with Jordan eventually, but by that time I'd have worked something out to take care of her permanently.
Something to do with sambuca, I thought to myself, smiling at her pleasantly.
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